Poetic Rebirth

my newest blog

2010-11-15T10:34:00.005-04:00

I very recently chose to embrace the nutritarian-vegan lifestyle. This means no meat, no dairy, and rare encounters with refined and processed foods, vegan or not. Once I discovered how unhealthy and unsafe animal products are for you, it was an easy decision. Organic meat and dairy are no better as animal protein and fat is animal protein and fat. Our bodies were originally design for a plant-based diet* and this is how we can reverse and avoid disease. My family is joining me too. I'm so proud of them!

I've begun my blog with a vegan pumpkin pie (recipe link included), which has sugar, but with the holidays coming up, a girl's gotta account for special occasion recipes!

Lilibeth's Vegan Garden

*Consider that the hydrochloric acid in the human stomach is only 1/20th the strength of that found in carnivores. Carnivores require the stronger acid to process the flesh they consume. Human hydrochloric acid is designed for plant food, which means it can’t fully process flesh. Furthermore, our intestines are 12 times the length of our body, whereas carnivores have intestines three times the length of their body. This is important because once a carnivore digests its prey, the remains needs to be quickly flushed through to prevent putrification (rotting). On the other hand, when humans eat meat, the combination of weak stomach acid and long intestines means putrification occurs throughout the digestive system, which can, and often does, lead to disease. Plant food, however, requires the longer journey to properly break down the fats, proteins, complex carbohydrates and nutrients. (original article here)

You Can Reverse Cancer and Other Diseases

2010-11-12T07:01:00.002-04:00

Please, please, please schedule 2 hours of your life to watch this new film! It may be the most important educational film you may ever see in regards to your and your loved one's health! I promise you will not regret it!

Click here to go directly to it's YouTube page

Anderson exposes the failings of conventional cancer treatments and how the medical establishment and the cancer industry wildly - and deceptively - exaggerate the benefits of treatments. Interviews with people who have beaten the disease demonstrate how cancer can be successfully healed with dietary treatments and natural supplementation. Participants in the film include: T. Colin Campbell, Ph.D., The China Study;Brian Clement, Ph.D., Hippocrates Health Institute; Brenda Cobb, The Living Foods Institute; Mirea Ellis, The Kushi Institute; Charlotte Gerson, The Gerson Institute and many more.

the generation of those who seek Him

2010-09-16T14:56:00.003-03:00

Who may ascend into the hill of the LORD?
Or who may stand in His holy place?
He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
Who has not lifted up his soul to an idol,
Nor sworn deceitfully.
He shall receive blessing from the LORD,
And righteousness from the God of his salvation.
This is Jacob, the generation of those who seek Him,
Who seek Your face.

~ Psalm 24:3-6

wow

2010-05-23T00:18:00.002-03:00

Found this verse today in my new copy of the Amplified Bible*, and it really struck me:

Or do you suppose that the Scripture is speaking to no purpose that says, The Spirit Whom He has caused to dwell in us yearns over us and He yearns for the Spirit [to be welcome] with a jealous love? (James 4:5, Amplified Bible)

I'm still learning to grasp the concept that the Holy Spirit has deeply profound emotions. Meditating on that will be life-changing.

*the guy at the Canadian Bible Society asked me if I had had an Amplified Bible before and I told him no, but that I'd heard many people refer to it a lot lately. He told me I was in for a treat. He wasn't kidding! I got a $15 paperback version on sale and I can see I'll have it falling apart in no time. The next one will be in leather for sure.

losing sight

2010-04-08T05:00:00.001-03:00

"In many churches you can find a plethora of twelve step programs. But in many churches, the one who really needs a twelve step recovery program is the pastor because he has lost sight of what he should be doing and become addicted to marketing cultural relevance, politics, social reform and other substitutes for the real thing." ~ John MacArthur

by our love

2010-03-12T11:45:00.003-04:00

I just heard this song for the first time a few minutes ago (while painting my daughter's room!). I find the video below extremely distracting and wish I could find a version with just the album cover, but it's worth listening to if you close your eyes or scroll below the video. Nothing wrong with the video, but in my opinion it takes away from it! I posted the lyrics below.

Brothers, let us come together
Walking in the Spirit, there's much to be done...
We will come reaching, out from our comforts
And they will know us by our love...

Sisters, we were made for kindness
We can pierce the darkness as He shines through us...
We will come reaching, with a song of healing...
And they will know us by our love!

The time is now
Come Church arise...
Love with His hands
See with His eyes...
Bind it around you,
Let it never leave you,
And they will know us by our love...

Children, You are hope for justice,
Stand firm in the Truth now, set your hearts above
You will be reaching, long after we’re gone,
And they will know you by your love!

Written by Christy Nockels
© 2009 worshiptogether.com Songs / sixsteps Music (admin. by EMI CMG Publishing) (ASCAP)

hope and trust

2010-03-11T18:02:00.004-04:00

"The inability to open up to hope is what blocks trust, and blocked trust is the reason for blighted dreams." ~ Elizabeth Gilbert

restless rebellion

2010-02-23T05:01:00.003-04:00

crows in a storm

"I often wonder what those preachers do who feel called to make up their message as they go on; for if they fail, their failure must be attributed in great measure to their want of ability to make up a moving tale. They have to spread their sails to the breeze of the age, and to pick up a gospel that comes floating down to them on the stream of time, altering every week in the year; and they must have an endless task to catch this new idea, or, as they put it, to keep abreast of the age. Unless, indeed, like chameleons, they have a natural aptitude to change colour, they must have a worrying time of it, and a horrible amount of shifting to get through. When they have done their best to preach this gospel of their own, then they are accountable for having made that gospel. For every bit of its teaching they are accountable, because they were the manufacturers of it, and it came forth from their foundry, bearing their stamp. If they take this yoke upon them, and so refuse to learn of Christ, they will find no rest to their souls." ~ Charles H. Spurgeon

Original sermon found here.

may no man's reigns ever chain you

2010-02-17T09:53:00.004-04:00

I posted this almost 2 years ago I think. This song will always make me stop dead in my tracks and be still and somberly listen. I've always thought of it as a song for women who are oppressed* in relationships. This is not my personal situation, but I know it is for countless many.

It's like a prayer.

All the wild horses
All the wild horses
Tethered with tears in their eyes
May no man's touch ever tame
May no man's reigns ever chain you
And may no man's weight ever defrayed your soul
And as for the clouds
Just let them roll
Roll away
Roll away
As for the clouds
Just let them roll
Roll away
Roll away

Live version:

*"People who are oppressed are treated cruelly or are prevented from having the same opportunities, freedom, and benefits as others" (Google). "to put down; subdue or suppress." (Dictionary.com) . "to burden spiritually or mentally : weigh heavily upon" (merriam-webster.com)

Jesus Culture - Chris Quilala - Dance With Me

2010-02-15T10:18:00.001-04:00

how nice to be featured!

2010-02-08T12:53:00.001-04:00

I'm a little excited, being that I'm a seriously random and inconsistent blogger, and yet found myself being asked permission to post my latest interior design endeavor (a.k.a. making my house look purdy!). Beth Zeigler, a contributing editor for Apartment Therapy Los Angeles e-mailed me yesterday to do just that.

I know i love my new front entry, but it's nice to know that others appreciate it as well.

I was featured here: Using Fabric to Transform a Cabinet

Take a look at your own stuff and see if you've got something ready and waiting to be brought to new life with a little bit of designer fabric or paper!

Cabinet makeover originally blogged here:

My Tribute to Early 70's

being

2010-02-04T04:09:00.000-04:00

in my "favourites" at etsy.com ~ future embellishment
it's time to get back to the simple things of life
being a good mom
being a good wife
being a little girl in God's eyes
being crafty to make my little cottage a haven in this crazy world (the nesting instinct)
being a good friend to both friend and stranger
just
being

leave them behind

2010-01-11T05:34:00.000-04:00

lace trees

I'm being a total and complete copycat, taking this quote from Redemption Junkie's blog. It's goooood.

"Sometimes we have to "step over" our anger, our jealousy, or our feelings of rejection and move on. The temptation is to get stuck in our negative emotions, poking around in them as if we belong there. Then we become the "offended one," "the forgotten one," or the "discarded one." Yes, we can get attached to these negative identities and even take morbid pleasure in them. It might be good to have a look at these dark feelings and explore where they come from, but there comes a moment to step over them, leave them behind and travel on." ~ Henri Nouwen

the church's mandate

2010-01-08T05:02:00.000-04:00

snowneressness

"When Jesus called the twelve disciples he appointed the first Christian congregation. That first congregation was thereafter the standard or norm for all Christian congregations in every era. The mandate our Lord gave to the twelve he therefore gives to any congregation in any era. Needless to say, it's the mandate without which we wouldn't be a congregation at all. We might be a religious group, or a middle class club, or a social circle; but we wouldn't be a congregation called and commissioned by Jesus Christ himself and appointed to the same task and responsibility as our twelve foreparents in faith. In other words, it's the mandate that makes the congregation.

There's a crucial difference, however, between the mandate the government gives a royal commission and the mandate Jesus Christ gives us. The mandate given the royal commission authorizes its members to ask questions and produce reports. They do that. They produce innumerable reports. They make dozens of recommendations. But how much gets done? A great deal is said; very little is ever done. The mandate that Jesus gives a congregation, on the other hand, authorizes us to say relatively little, even as it insists we do a great deal. What's more, what we say and do in obedience to our Lord he then adopts himself, takes it up in his name and uses it to so as to render it his speaking and his doing.

What's the mandate? First the twelve are to announce, "The kingdom of heaven is at hand." This is what they are to preach. Thereafter they are to do; specifically they are to do what reflects the fact that the kingdom is at hand. They are to heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, cast out demons." ~ Victor Shepherd

original article

Christian Codependency

2010-01-07T04:30:00.000-04:00

don't walk through that door

"Churches that are closed systems are so insecure that they believe their survival depends on destroying everything that differs from them or does not support them. Such churches lack faith in the gospel’s inherent power." ~ Anne Wilson Schaef

2010

2010-01-04T07:26:00.003-04:00

sacred beach
I wrote this yesterday...

The new year is underway and I'm quite excited about it. Life seems fresh and new on many levels. In one particular aspect of our lives, it was as if we had been sailing around in a fog, going 'round and 'round for years on end, but now the sails have gathered up fresh winds and are carrying us into blues skies and open seas. Who knows what swashbuckling adventures await us. Yup, sounds corny, but I can live with that.

The important thing is to not look back at the things that strive to define us or drag us down. In life, we often have to make decisions and changes for the sake of fostering greater emotional and spiritual health. We can't then concern ourselves with other people's reactions or deductions. It's best to stay in the mode of looking forward instead of looking back, and being grateful that by God's grace you had the courage to break free of the things that confined you.

I think too, that the key is to focus on the blessings that come with change. When we take stock of that, what's behind you really pales in comparison. Besides, if there's anything healthy behind you that belongs on your current path, it'll catch up to you when the time is right.

Jon just came home from church. We all had a late night last night after thoroughly enjoying a very stormy yummy night with dear friends, and Faith and I slept in while the boys went to church. Jon said people shared this morning, and one guy who is struggling with drug addiction said Jesus is helping him to get free. Others shared similar stories. If that doesn't put things into perspective, I don't know what does.

Church is about people thriving, healing, the poor being fed, children being nurtured and discipled, people finding Jesus, the gospel being taught, and everyone being transformed by God's love.

I'm going into 2010 feeling rich! :o)

christmas eve...

2009-12-24T23:59:00.002-04:00

On the one hand, Christmas Eve is filled with hope and joy. On the other hand, it's a reminder of the losses over the year.

It's bittersweet. It's weird. But, who knows what 2010 holds.

lovely!

2009-12-23T05:37:00.001-04:00

"identity"

2009-12-15T09:29:00.006-04:00

"Identity" by Arstyville @ Etsy

change is good

2009-11-30T09:20:00.003-04:00

“Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.” ~ Arnold Bennett

About 2 months ago we left our church of 14 years. Looking back now, though I didn't want to accept it at the time, I can admit that it seemed as if we were being directed out about 6 months before we actually left. Maybe even longer before that. Though we had not come to a final decision and had wanted to keep the door open, the door was shut once we voiced what we were contemplating. Perhaps this was for the best, especially since we were hesitant. We had stuck it out through so many low points over the years. We all survived a lot of tough things together. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time, to stick it out, and I have no regrets for that. I read recently that sometimes God allows adversity to get you to make a move. I know that to be true!

During the time of contemplating leaving, which was something I NEVER EVER thought we'd do, I had a strange experience. I was supposed to meet a bunch of women at the church one evening for a new book study group. I arrived in the parking lot which was vacant. I thought it was strange to find no one there yet as it was supposed to start in 5 minutes, but decided to wait 15 minutes. I figured it would be a good place to take time to continue to pray for direction. The bizarre thing was as I looked at the church, for the first time ever, it didn't feel like my church anymore. It felt like someone else's church, and like I was on someone else's property. I decided to pray for the church, for it's blessing and that it be nurtured etc., and as I did, I felt like I was praying for someone else's community. This felt very weird. I ended up leaving since no one ever showed up. I couldn't help but take that as a sign.

I spent the next 2 days feeling like I was in mourning. Would this mean all the relationships, whether old or new or yet to come, would now be doomed? I had to decide that any relationships that were meant to be bigger than any one church couldn't be defined by that one church. I had to take the risk. All I can do now is pray that any relationships that are meant to exist outside of it's walls will indeed flourish in their own time at their own pace. Relationships cannot come before you or your family's spiritual well-being. We needed a change and only in the leaving did we realize how desperately that change was needed and how good it was and has been for us.

God was good through the decision making, as hard as it was. He was faithful to give us more and more clarity as the weeks went on. It's been a rough road. Things were said to us on our way out that brought both shock and pain, but even this was another way to make things more clear to us. Some one recently told us it's as if we're bruised. I know we're healing though.

Unlike many these days, who leave a church to go no where, we very quickly found ourselves jumping right into another community (of the same denomination). This was in part due to a dream I had back in the spring, and our desire to stay in the Vineyard. Many people there are people we "did church with" many years prior. Though we'd been apart for a decade or more, it was like coming home. The first few Sundays I would get teary-eyed because I was so grateful to be there. It's funny how you can come to think that what you long for doesn't exist. Sometimes it does.

Its felt like a great big present that we've only just begun to unwrap. We're already part of an amazing homegroup that is just one street over from us. We're very quickly bonding to the people we've only just met. They are very much kindred spirits. Like us, they aren't perfect, but they want the same things we do.

I feel like I've walked into a whole new world, a place where I've never been. Parts of it challenge me, and exposes my unbelief. I've never experienced a church quite like it. It's stirred things in me that have been asleep for many years. I feel more free, like I've been released from a stall. I'm grateful for my kids, oh so grateful. The first Sunday we went, my kids instantly wanted to go back the next Sunday. My 16 year old son loved how they turned down the lights for worship, and had candles burning. Heck, I like that too, it makes worship feel more intimate and you feel less self-conscious. There are a lot of youth, so I'm sure that's a draw for my kids also. They love a whole lot of others things too.

Thanks for reading if you've gotten this far. I know I often groan over long posts. I guess I'm making up for lost time!

I'll end with saying that we pray for God's blessings on the church we've moved on from. I've left there different from when I arrived. I'm leaving more equipped and more wise. I will never regret having been a part of it for as long as I did.

skeleton bones

2009-11-23T13:18:00.001-04:00

IHOP's onething09 conference ~ dec. 28-31

2009-11-11T11:08:00.003-04:00

From the International House of Prayer website:

A great revival is coming to the Church worldwide that will change the understanding and expression of Christianity. The Lord is raising up a forerunner generation of young adults with a foundation of intimacy with Jesus and love for others—a foundation that produces dedication to works of justice, missions, and outreach as these young adults embrace God’s plans for the end times. These burning and shining ones will declare the coming of the Lord in the power of the Holy Spirit.

onething’09 is a gathering of young adults who have set their hearts to discern the times and live with abandonment and devotion to Jesus. Come this December and join thousands of others with like heart and like mind to pursue this call to one thing.

You can "attend" online for free, via webcast. Just register HERE.

what do i want?

2009-10-20T13:41:00.002-03:00

I want passion for Jesus.

I want to love the Scriptures and try to live by them.

I want to become more free.

I want to see miracles.

That's all.

That's everything.

Friendship

2009-10-19T20:47:00.002-03:00

Friendship, originally uploaded by Joey & Sarah.

Oh my!

Friendship

They're an odd couple in every sense but a monkey and a pigeon have become inseparable at an animal sanctuary in China.

The 12-week-old macaque - who was abandoned by his mother - was close to death when it was rescued on Neilingding Island, in Goangdong Province.

After being taken to an animal hospital his health began to improve but he seemed spiritless - until he developed a friendship with a white pigeon.

The blossoming relationship helped to revive the macaque who has developed a new lease of life, say staff at the sanctuary.

Now the unlikely duo are never far from each other's side, but they aren't the only ones to strike up an unusual friendship.

Earlier this year a pig adopted a tiger cub and raised him along with her piglets because his mother couldn't feed him.

And in 2005 a baby dear named Mi-Lu befriended lurcher Geoffrey at the Knowsley Animal Park in Merseyside after she was rejected by her mother

Uploaded by Joey & Sarah on 27 Sep 07, 1.05AM ADT.

2009-10-02T04:39:00.002-03:00

“Faced with such opposition and the pressure it brings, postmodernism is a form of intellectual pacifism that, at the end of the day, recommends backgammon while the barbarians are at the gate. It is the easy, cowardly way out that removes the pressure to engage alternative conceptual schemes, to be different, to risk ridicule, to take a stand outside the gate. But it is precisely as disciples of Christ, even more, as officers in his army, that the pacifist way out is simply not an option. However comforting it may be, postmodernism is the cure that kills the patient, the military strategy that concedes defeat before the first shot is fired, the ideology that undermines its own claim to allegiance. And it is an immoral, coward’s way out that is not worthy of a movement born out of the martyrs’ blood.” ~ J.P. Moreland

truth

2009-10-01T04:32:00.001-03:00

"Truth is the name we give to that which agrees with our instinctive preferences. It is what we call our interpretation of the world especially when we want to foist it upon others." ~ Ravi Zacharias

is it?

2009-09-30T03:59:00.002-03:00

Is homosexuality a sin?

Atheism, Feminism, and the Bible

2009-09-29T04:00:00.000-03:00

Ravi Zacharias responds to a student's question about atheism, feminism, and the Bible at Penn State University.

on the other side of the wall

2009-09-17T04:43:00.000-03:00

on the other side of the wall
In my travels at etsy.com, I saw this. It stopped me dead in my tracks. It struck me on so many levels. I need to either buy it or reproduce it. Wow.

just a little update

2009-09-07T07:53:00.003-03:00

My thoughts still run very deep, but I'm getting too much enjoyment out of house projects and decorating. I'm blogging about them over at my suburban renewal blog.

Paradigm shifts are slowly but surely taking root with the help of some lovely part time life coaching, and I think my formerly neglected house is starting to show it! :)

not my house, but who doesn't like a bit of inspiration - must contemplate repainting my living room

a life coach

2009-08-20T13:38:00.005-03:00

my daughter
So I went and hired me a life coach. Not two days ago it finally occurred to me that I need professional help in my life. What part of life? The doing part. I have the best of intentions, be it house projects, my home business, or workouts, but I seriously struggle with following through. I get hyper-focused on something and let everything else fall by the wayside. Then I burn out. That leaves a trail of unfinished business and one overwhelmed woman. It's taken me all this time to realize that nothing is going to change unless I do something drastic.

I could simply determine to do better, but it occurred to me that the bravest and most proactive thing I could do is hire a life coach. This is not something we can afford, but can I really afford to risk wasting any more precious time? What if this step ends up being life changing?

I stumbled onto a Christian life coach who resides in the lovely province of Alberta. Her services are actually VERY reasonable and she offers more than your average life coach out there. Many offer limited e-mails per week but she welcomes unlimited e-mailing. Here's what she says about how she views her role as a life coach:

"My mission is to coach women who are in a season of life in which they are seeking new direction, a fresh start, challenging opportunities, spiritual growth, a new vision for using their giftedness and passions, and that by God’s power will help them become more of who they are meant to be, living life in all its fullness." ~ Jenell Pluim

Jenell and I spoke on the phone yesterday and at the end of our conversation, she asked if I wanted time to think about partnering together, or did I want to go ahead and get things started. The only appropriate answer was: let's do this!! She was so warm and understanding. She was easy to talk to. I think we're going to be a great fit. She ended with praying for me, and wow that truly blessed my heart.

"Not to dream boldly may turn out to be simply irresponsible." ~ George Leonard

a different kind of church critic

2009-08-19T15:44:00.003-03:00

"As a pastor I hear a lot of emergent leaders talk about what is wrong with the church. It comes across as someone who doesn't love the church. I'm a pastor first and foremost, and I'm trying to offer a solution or a model of what church should look like. I'm going back to scripture and seeing what the church was in its simplest form and trying to recreate that in my own church. I'm not coming up with anything new. I'm calling people to go back to the way it was. I'm not bashing the church. I'm loving it." ~ Francis Chan, author of Crazy Love

Here's an amazing evangelistic video with Francis Chan. My daughter's only word at the end was, "wow". I plan to watch more of his stuff at YouTube.

my secret life as an organic & DIY beauty advocate

2009-08-07T12:44:00.000-03:00

random photo via google.com
After 16 much loved years of being a stay at home mom, I've taken up a part time job. Yup. I'm a working girl now. Sure I'd rather stay home and pursue my creative endeavors to generate an income, but a regular income is tres tres nice. I know Jon appreciates it immensely! Still, in my heart of hearts, I'd rather generate an income through creating because goodness knows I can come up with the ideas. Working part time allows me lots of free days to do that and once the kids are back in school, I can dedicate some time to that.

My new job is a fun one. I'm a "Cosmetician Trainee". That's what's on my name tag. Yes, I work as a drug store cosmetician, and I love it. It's been a fantastic way to transition back into the work force. I'd always wondered what I'd end up doing to help with the bills after the kids were old enough. And let's face it, that's what this is, a means to an end. But I feel blessed to be able to go to a job where I'm interested in what I'm doing. The perks of getting free unused testers for makeup I can't afford isn't too hard to take either. I also work for and with a fantastic group of people. That's more than half the battle won.

I immediately, albeit temporarily, got swept up into the world of department store brands (translation: the brands that offer hundred dollar miracle creams). Still, there's a huge side of me that is anti-chemical, anti-preservative, anti-carcinogenic, anti-let's-get-your-skin-dependent-on-this-by-weakening-the-skin's-metabolism-through-breaking-down-its-natural-responsiveness.

Thankfully natural and organic brands are slowly but surely making their way into your local drugstore. Ones like Dr. Hauschka and Alba Botanica. I'll most likely become the go-to girl for those looking for a more unpolluted, healing and restorative approach.

random photo via google.com
In our house, my pattern sale money is my mad money. Yay! Paypal plus Ebay are great bedfellows and I tracked down some fantastic stores on Feebay that sell organic carrier oils and essential oils. I plan on making my own facial oils and my own deep conditioning hair masks. I love DIY beauty! Not only do you get a superior product, you save yourself literally hundreds of dollars. Yes you have to become knowledgeable about the science of skin, you have to formulate, mix, experiment, and store properly, but as my good friend Wendy says, it's "sweat equity".

My mailbox is now awaiting the arrival of palmarosa oil (stimulates cell regeneration), frankincense oil (for dry skin, wrinkles), lavender (tones and balances skin, promotes healing), and a few other essential oils. I also have some near legendary rosehip seed oil on it's way. It's the only natural oil that contains natural Retinoic acid (Vitamin A acid). It's a "dry" oil and is easily and quickly absorbed by the skin. It encourages cell regeneration. Sign me up.

"What we apply to the skin is just as important - latest tests have discovered that chemical substances may be found in the urine within 30 minutes of application of the skin. It is important to nurture the skin and encourage harmony by adopting an holistic approach, that is by treating the skin as an integral part of the whole body." ~ Lorraine Sutton

I hope to phase high hazard products out of my family's lives (rate yours here: Environmental Working Group's "Skin Deep" Cosmetic Safety Database). This weekend we bought a large bottle of paraben-free "Yes to Carrots" Shampoo from where I work and so far I love it! It gets rave reviews at MakeupAlley.com. I admit I have some practically new Redken, Joico, and Infusium 23 hair care products that my frugal side says I need to use up before I totally convert. :o(

Side note: I've happily resorted to making my own Vitamin C Serum that I use every night. It's super cheap, and is well loved by many DIY'ers!

a touch of genius

2009-07-09T09:57:00.003-03:00

Daisies in St. Andrews, New Brunswick
I love love love this quote below, don't you? It should be on everyone's fridge, unless of course you're a weird "my-fridge-must-not-display-any-personality" types. Get over yourself and let your icebox remind you of great life lessons such as these.

"An intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction." ~ Hoshang N. Akhtar

melancholy me

2009-07-09T08:35:00.004-03:00

"show me where it hurts"by mazawi

“Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

Yesterday I unexpectedly faced a situation which at first caused me distress, until I realized that all was okay, relatively speaking. Still, I had to muster up the courage to walk into a place where my presence is not wanted by someone. It makes me weepy to think about it, and I wish I could transport myself to an isolated place so I could have a good long cry. I'm way overdue in releasing some pent up sorrow.

I'm not interested in fixing things so I can feel better or be at ease. I'm sure things are just as horrid for them as they are for me, and that's not fair. In fact it's profoundly unjust.

My biggest fear is that the other person will think that none of it matters to me or my guy. We can unintentionally make it appear as though we are indifferent, when deep down inside we are anything but. I can only assume that the most I can do is offer my respect by keeping my distance. But is that saying something that I'm not wanting it to?

Friendship

2009-06-29T10:14:00.005-03:00

"Friendship is evanescent in every man's experience, and remembered like heat lightening in past summers. Fair and flitting like a summer cloud;--there is always some vapor in the air, no matter how long the drought; there are even April showers. Surely from time to time, for its vestiges never depart, it floats through our atmosphere. It takes place, like vegetation in so many materials, because there is such a law, but always without permanent form, though ancient and familiar as the sun and moon, and as sure to come again. The heart is forever inexperienced. They silently gather as by magic, these never failing, never quite deceiving visions, like the bright and fleecy clouds in the calmest and clearest days. The Friend is some fair floating isle of palms eluding the mariner in Pacific seas. Many are the dangers to be encountered, equinoctial gales and coral reefs, ere he may sail before the constant trades. But who would not sail through mutiny and storm even over Atlantic waves, to reach the fabulous retreating shores of some continent man**?" ~ "Friendship" by Henry David Thoreau

** "woman" in my case!

2009-06-28T16:42:00.001-03:00

"Credo is the word with which the great creeds of early Christendom begin. “I believe. . .” we say. The Latin credo means literally, “I give my heart.” The word believe is a problematic one today in part because it has gradually changed its meaning from being the language of certainty so deep that I could give my heart to it, to the language of uncertainty so shallow that only the “credulous” would rely on it. Faith, as we have seen, is not about propositions, but about commitment. It does not mean that I intellectually subscribe to the following list of statements, but that I give my heart to this reality. Believe, indeed, comes to us from the Old English belove, making clear that this too is meant to be heart language. To say “I believe in Jesus Christ” is not to subscribe to an uncertain proposition. It is a confession of commitment, of love."

~ Diana L. Eck

why should you and i?

2009-06-10T10:15:00.000-03:00

"love is everything"by gary heller

Even God doesn't plan to judge a man till the end of his days, why should you and I? ~ Source Unknown

"one step at a time"

2009-06-08T08:35:00.001-03:00

Isn't this cute? This is how I feel some times. Minus the tutu. As cute as it is.

One step at a time.

"one step at a time"by livie loo

are we different by priscilla ahn

2009-06-02T12:26:00.003-03:00

passion or escapism

2009-05-22T10:45:00.000-03:00

"passionate potential"by thephotozoo
I can be passionate about something, whether it's blogging, or knitting, or working out, or friends, or drawing, etc., and throw passion for "religion" in there for good measure. The thing is, often these "passions" in and of themselves are distractions and methods of avoidance or escapism. If and when I give my full attention to God's stuff and am truly passionate about Jesus, all these other areas of life are illuminated and enhanced. I end up with a deeper appreciation for art, food, clouds, fun, people, photography, exercise...get the picture?

There's a vast difference between being passionate about exercise for example, and passionately pursuing a fit physique because I want to physically reflect the spiritual strength that God has endowed me with over this past year or so. That takes it to a deeper level, a deeper sense of satisfaction, a deeper determination, and greater possibility of reaching my potential.

There's also a vast difference between being passionate about partying and having a good time, and passionately loving and reaching out to people when they don't deserve it, or when it's inconvenient to you personally. One bears fruit. The other simply doesn't.

"Ask all the people of the land and the priests, 'When you fasted and mourned in the fifth and seventh months for the past seventy years, was it really for me that you fasted? And when you were eating and drinking, were you not just feasting for yourselves?" ~ Zechariah 7:5-6 (NIV)

imagine all the girls, ah ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

2009-05-20T09:03:00.005-03:00

And the strings,
Eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee.

or watch it at YouTube here

returning home

2009-05-18T10:05:00.001-03:00

"return from the crossroads"by blank photography
Yesterday at church, the teaching was on the parable of the prodigal son.

The prodigal son seems full of life, bound by the shackles of responsibility and constrained by the need for humanity, reliability and stability. Living life as a consumer reigned supreme. After all, life is about personal fulfillment.

Or is it?

His "passion" for life and the squandering away of his inheritance for the sake of good times left him starving and sleeping with the pigs.

Can you imagine how you'd feel at your warm reception after an out and out rebellion? I imagine a profound state of gratitude and humility. I imagine it would be life changing. I imagine a deeper level of maturity forged in the fires of adversity. I imagine the lust for pleasure being exposed for what it is: meaninglessness and poverty.

The pattern of the prodigal is:
rebellion,
ruin,
repentance,
reconciliation,
restoration.
~ Edwin Louis Cole

“Never cease loving a person, and never give up hope for him, for even the prodigal son who had fallen most low, could still be saved; the bitterest enemy and also he who was your friend could again be your friend; love that has grown cold can kindle”
~ Soren Kierkegaard

2009-05-14T08:39:00.000-03:00

"fruit bowl"by quiet darling

"Spirituality is measured in terms of fruit. Rationalist, pragmatist, mystic nut--whatever our disposition--we are only spiritual to the extent that the fruit of the Spirit grows in our lives. To come to that life in Christ is the aim of us all, and it requires that each of us bear our cross and are "crossed-out" by our opposites, the rationalist by the mystic, the liturgist by the free-worshiper, the common sense fellow by the brilliant scholar, the plodder by the leaper, the artistic by the prosaic, the complex by the simple. Mystics need the counsel of the rationalists--and the rationalists need the challenge and the excitement of the experiences of the mystic. "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another" (Prov. 27:17)."

~ John Sandford, "The Elijah Task"

happy mother's day?

2009-05-10T13:06:00.002-03:00

"Roses for Mom"by Terry McClary
My heart goes out to all women who find Mother's Day a sad one, especially those who have lost their own mother. May you be especially blessed today.

oh the time we waste

2009-05-09T00:38:00.004-03:00

"let there be light"by MaritereCR
Lately, without any effort on my part, I've caught wind of people dissing the emergent church movement. I say bring it on. Frankly, I'm seriously sick and tired of people sitting around conversing about how the church should or should not function etc. Heck I've even done it a little on here lately.

Snore....yawn....eyes rolling....it's totally and completely irrelevent to reality. While some people SIT on their asses philosophizing, other people are out there being Jesus.

That's all I wanted to say. :o)

2009-05-04T08:57:00.003-03:00

"Simplexity" by Irene Suchocki

I MANY times thought peace had come,
When peace was far away;
As wrecked men deem they sight the land
At centre of the sea,

And struggle slacker, but to prove,
As hopelessly as I,
How many the fictitious shores
Before the harbor lie.

~ Emily Dickinson

I seriously love this quote

2009-04-20T08:04:00.001-03:00

17 gallons of tears(by a fellow etsy seller)
My absolute most favouritest current quote, of which I could read 50 times and yet not tire of, is found below. At a time when "authenticity" is a popular spiritual fashion accessory, I crave to see it's existence proved through unabashed honest communication.

"You don't have to be around the church long to learn that where there is unity God blesses, and that where there is discord, He doesn't. Unity is the prelude and primary condition for power in prayer (Matt. 18:19). Unity always exist in the Spirit in the body, no matter how we fuss and fight, but unity must travel from spirit to soul to heart and mind and action before it bears fruit among men.

However, the quest for unity need not prevent discussion, difference of opinion, or even sharp disagreement. It is one thing to agree so deeply in heart and soul and spirit that we can violently disagree in mind, without disturbing unity or breaking the agreement which profits prayer. It is another to so let disagreements enlist angers and party spirit that inner energies are drafted to unconscious battles and conscious debates. Paul and Peter battled heavily (Gal. 1-2) and yet the Father worked stupendous miracles in and through both of them, and wherever they went the church prospered! Men fought Paul everywhere. Most of the letters of the New Testament are written about quarrels or are themselves involved in settling some dispute. Yet the early church was filled with power. We can fuss at each other strenuously without disturbing true unity. We must not so make an idol of unity that we drive necessary irritations of communication underground and so provide lip service to unity while we are inwardly frustrated into hating. The restoration of unity also means the restoration of honest communication. Anger, jealousy, spite, envy and the like tear the fabric of unity, not honest communication. If men's hearts are knit as one, the mental exercise of debate serves only to heighten respect and increases banter and fun. We need not fear to fuss and fight, as long as we immediately forgive and laughingly embrace. Unity moves from spirit to soul and heart by the route of openness, not tight-mouthed silence."

~ John Sanford, "The Elijah Task"

it is finished

2009-04-12T20:17:00.000-03:00

"twouble with twitters"

2009-04-11T13:07:00.001-03:00

positioned to love

2009-04-08T08:47:00.002-03:00

bomobob(a fellow etsy seller)

"You and I cannot demonstrate love or joy or peace or patience or kindness sitting all by ourselves on an island. No, we demonstrate it when the people we have committed to loving give us good reasons not to love them, but we do it anyway."

~ Mark Dever, "What Is A Healthy Church"

He goes on to suggest that if your goal is to love all Christians, then commit yourself to a concrete group of Christians (church) with all their failures and weaknesses. Stick with them through thick and thin for 80 years and then evaluate how successful you were at loving all Christians.

Sounds like marriage, but then I think that's how it should be viewed.

silence

2009-04-07T13:45:00.001-03:00

michelle stone(by a fellow etsy seller)
A favourite local blogger (who also shares my name!) posted something over at her Redemption Junkie blog that really struck me. It speaks to me because over the past year I have come to adore silence when I'm alone. I find these words illuminating.

Unfortunately, in seeing ourselves as we truly are, not all that we see is beautiful and attractive. This is undoubtedly part of the reason we flee silence. We do not want to be confronted with our hypocrisy, our phoniness. We see how false and fragile is the false self we project. We have to go through this painful experience to come to our true self. It is a harrowing journey, a death to self—the false self—and no one wants to die. But it is the only path to life, to freedom, to peace, to true love. And it begins with silence. We cannot give ourselves in love if we do not know and possess ourselves. This is the great value of silence. It is the pathway to all we truly want.

--M. Basil Pennington

it's confirmed, i'm a wishful dreamer!

2009-04-02T08:51:00.000-03:00

life is but a dream(by a fellow etsy seller)

Not so long ago, I gained a step-dad in Lawrence at the age of 40, and I'm thrilled my mom has him in her life. I've been enjoying his recent comments. He has a way of challenging my thinking that is thought provoking. I love that because it's a rare gift. It's what I need and pray for.

Here's something interesting he said yesterday in the comments:

"What you are hinting at requires a genuine heart desire filled with love and laying everything else aside. This requires a cost and i'm not sure that there are those who really want to move with God that strongly, because of the work and effort it would take to make a change. The buzz words being mindsets and paradigms."

Ah, the path of least resistance! Though I'll never resign myself to the status quo, I guess this confirms once again that I have and always will be a dreamer. :-)

This girl will continue to believe that Jesus' way will always be cutting edge, radical, and new. Although God is not confined by the 66 books of the Bible, I'll also continue to believe that the principles laid out in the NT for having a healthy community are timeless.

In the end, my heart cry is not for something new (we already have that), but for healthy maturing Christian community where we reflect the nature and the heart of Jesus, in spite of ourselves.

The "Moses Model"

2009-04-01T08:48:00.006-03:00

the odyssey

I blog for myself and not for any other reason. I don't pine for comments, so it's always fun to get one because it's like a "bonus".

My good friend Lawrence, who happens to my mom's fabulous husband, made an interesting comment in passing yesterday. He mentioned what's typically called the "Moses Model" in regards to how a church is primary lead by the senior pastor. What's weird is I had only just heard the term the night before.

Here's what I've gathered recently: Moses was Israel's leader. He had 70 elders. He was a deliverer. God gave him the Law. Moses was a type of Christ. Christ has now come. We have our High Priest. Christ is our deliverer. Christ fulfilled the law.

Therefore, holy brethren, partakers of the heavenly calling, consider the Apostle and High Priest of our confession, Christ Jesus, who was faithful to Him who appointed Him, as Moses also was faithful in all His house. For this One has been counted worthy of more glory than Moses, inasmuch as He who built the house has more honor than the house. For every house is built by someone, but He who built all things is God. And Moses indeed was faithful in all His house as a servant, for a testimony of those things which would be spoken afterward, but Christ as a Son over His own house, whose house we are if we hold fast the confidence and the rejoicing of the hope firm to the end. ~ Hebrews 3:1-6 (NKJV)

To me this means that Jesus is the Head of each church, he is the "Senior Pastor". So it would appear to me that if Moses was "replaced" by Jesus, can any one then "replace" Jesus'?

I can't reconcile that anywhere in the New Testament. If anything, I can find plenty to contradict it.

I suppose I'd be nuts to end it at that because I'm sure I'm being offensive to those who are senior pastors. The thing is, is the "Moses Model" good for anyone, even current senior pastors? Is any person capable of carrying that kind of burden alone?? How many pastor's have suffered needlessly because they have more authority (even just a little more) than anyone else? They become the target for all the complaints. This doesn't sound like a safe position for any pastor.

I used to think, "well someone has to have the final say". Yes it's true, and that person is God. I have all the faith in the world that Jesus is capable of leading each church and of granting it's leaders the ability to hear him as they look for the answers they need.

church leadership ~ grass roots style / the original way

2009-03-30T09:51:00.002-03:00

border collie pup and lamb
or
a sheep dog puppy and one of the fold
(This photo reminded me of a dream I had recently
where our mutt of a terri-poo turned into a beautiful border collie. I wish!)
Lately I've been very intrigued with discovering the Biblical way to "do" church. Why? I really don't know exactly. Part of me wonders if the typical way it's done is the way that's best.

I always thought a church needs a good strong leader (singular), but what I'm beginning to think is that it needs good strong leaders (plural), who uplift, carry, challenge, and protect each other and the community, with the community reciprocating the same.

In no way am I diminishing the role of the teachers! Perhaps that's why the Bible singles them and other extra hard working elders out as being "worthy of double honour". I'm willing to bet it takes a lot of meditating, studying, and praying to teach the Word to the people, especially if your heart's cry is to teach in tune with God, conveying what He wants to convey.

“Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, [meaning compensate them monetarily], especially those who work hard at preaching and teaching.” ~ 1 Timothy 5:17 (NASB)

Through Google Book Search, I found a book called "Discourse on the Official Relations of New Testament Elders”, written by John M. Duncan, a Presbyterian pastor. The book was published in 1826. Originally, it was a discourse delivered to his community as a "service preparatory to the ordination of four elders, who were, there and then, ordained according to the principles therein exhibited." It was expanded and revised for the public at the request of the elders of that church.

His view of church leadership was based on scripture, where the New Testament churches were taken care of by overseers, or elders. I haven't found anywhere where it says local communities were led be one pastor/shepherd. It seems downright irrational and unfair to expect pastors to be all things to all people.

Paul and Barnabas appointed elders [plural] for them in each church and, with prayer and fasting, committed them to the Lord, in whom they had put their trust. ~ Acts 14:23 (NIV)

Here's what Duncan had to say:

God has not created offices in his house to afford to one man an opportunity to grow more important than another man; but to furnish every one with an occasion of doing all the good he can: and each minister, instead of growing supercilious because of his official distinction, might say with Moses, "would God that all the Lord's people were prophets, and that the Lord would put his spirit upon them."

Now, you know that congregations ask their preachers to do a very great deal. They must preach twice or thrice on the sabbath, and, perhaps, two or three times in the week; they must visit the sick; bury the dead; .....and submit to every intrusion which the public at large shall conclude their supposed influence may warrant. Can human beings accomplish all this? Are flesh and blood equal to the task? Must not the preacher neglect the pulpit in order to answer these various calls?

Under all these views, it appears to me, that, while the preacher is taken from among the elders to expound the scriptures and conduct the public services of the sanctuary, they in their places are called to discharge whatever belongs to parochial visitation.

But here it may be necessary for me to state, that I am not seeking a retreat for myself, nor expressing any intention to decline my usual parochial services.....Yet whatever I may do, or may not do, your elders are called upon, by the Word of God, to exhort, to comfort, to reprove, to warn, to pray, among you, as opportunities may occur, or your situation may demand.

These are not "support roles". Overseer's jobs are to shepherd the flock, just as the preacher/teacher. No one is meant to bear the burden alone. All elders are called to feed, care for, and protect the flock.

Paul, in his exhortation to the elders of Ephesus, addresses, not a single elder, but a number. And he admonishes them as having a spiritual charge entrusted to them in common....Peter, in like manner, addresses, not an elder, but the elders [not only that but refers to himself as a fellow elder]; and he requires them to feed the flock of God, and cheerfully to take the oversight thereof.....Feeding the flock of God calls for much more than mere sanctuary services; and oversight is much more than mere preaching. Terms like these express full provision for the spiritual necessities of the church, that she may be edified, enlarged, sustained, refreshed. They include all that belongs to exhortation, prayer, watchfulness, consolation, warning, reproof, rule, &c. The elders must do all this, each one labouring in his own place, and according to his own ability; or, as the scriptures speak, some elders must preside well, and others must labour in word and doctrine. All are not intended to do the same thing, but a plurality exists to meet various wants.

Duncan, in referring to the elders being ordained in his church, says this about them:

They consider themselves to be invested with spiritual functions, and called to render spiritual services. They may exhort you to duty; they may comfort you by unfolding the merits of our beloved Redeemer, and the precious promises of our covenant God; they may warn you of the fearful consequences of sin; they may pray with and for you; they may sustain a spiritual parentage to your children;—in a thousand ways they may be helpers of your joy, and companions in your sorrows. And all this may be done from the purest, the kindest, and the most magnanimous motives, and with an assiduity which cannot fail to be a blessing.

Wow. Now, this is what he says to the church:

Now then, brethren, your duty is to "know them which labour among you, and are over you in the Lord, and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake." And again, I say, "obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves; for they Watch for your souls, as they that must give account: that they may do it with joy, and not with grief; for that is unprofitable for you." It will be yours to receive them affectionately when they call upon you; to send for them when you are sick; to ask counsel of them when you need it; to converse freely with them of things divine; to listen in patience and love to their brotherly admonition; to bear them habitually on your hearts to the mercy-seat; and to afford them every facility in the discharge of their duties. What a glorious spiritual alliance is here! What a mingling of christian hearts! How well adapted the opportunity to a fine display of the social attributes of moral character! What tender sympathies, most happily elicited! These things never can be forgotten.

Sounds like a huge responsibility no matter where you find yourself, but it also sounds healthy and full of promise.

how he loves us - kim walker / jesus culture

2009-03-27T11:02:00.002-03:00

i crave this kind of corporate worship, and am sad that it seems like this cannot be found around here. i pray for a new passion for worship to rise up out of the ashes of our forgetfulness.

my mom put me on to kim walker. sadly, i'd never heard of her before. i've included links below of a couple more songs.

here's a link to another kim walker youtube video of the song, "where you go i go". click HQ for a higher quality version in both video and audio.

and if you haven't heard "you won't relent", you simply must.

He turns sin into strength

2009-03-24T13:00:00.005-03:00

today's meditation
This morning I copied the following into my journal while my daughter Faith and I were in the waiting room at the doctor's office. I'm glad I had chosen this particular book to throw in my purse because I had a hard time deciding which book to take with me (I'm juggling three at the moment). I'm right there with this quote.

"Our checkered careers, our utter sinfulness and degradation, our falling into all manner of vain seeking, become by the grace of God on the cross and in the resurrection, the inevitable writing of wisdom on our hearts. Our hurts and sins have become our schooling and preparation. Would that we could learn purity the easy way. Praise God that His mercy is such that He turns the depth of our sin into the strength of ministry. We're not proud of our wrongdoing, but the sweet grace of God is such that in the end we thank Him for it. Our sins have rather become our training for high calling than our disqualification." ~ John Sanford, "The Elijah Task"

Living in gratitude for being a rescued one...

self-evaluation

2009-03-23T17:31:00.000-03:00

Healing
Last night our church had a congregational meeting. The purpose was to spend an evening of worship and intercession to discern who we are as a church. After a few worship songs, people began to volunteer praiseworthy and honourable attributes they felt we as a church could claim. To some of us there, and some of us not, it was akin to pouring salt on the wounds. My saving grace was the bravery of one admirable and humble woman (who happens to be my very dear and close friend!). She graciously offered a heartfelt admonition to be more forgiving and less judgmental.

I understand that people are inclined to have perceptions based on their own personal experiences. For those who have not been judged, they will see the church as a shelter. For those who have not experienced partiality, they will feel a sense of comfort. For those who's side has been chosen, they will feel empathy.

My challenge is to stay on task, fix my eyes on Jesus, and to listen to the Father. I need to dig into the Word that "penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart" (Heb. 4:12). I need to grow in wisdom, grace, and discernment. I need to be above reproach, walk in humility, to reach out, and to pray for the health of the community and it's people. I need to be brave and committed.

One thing David said was "authenticity with accountability". I like that. It was refreshing to hear those two words put together again after all these years. Those two attributes must be in sync.

Someone suggested that we as a community are unique. By definition, I would have to respectfully disagree. When we reflect Acts 2:42-47, I will be happy to agree that we are wonderfully unique:

They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

Here's my journal entry written 5 days prior to last night's meeting. These words still ring true for me:

It occurs to me that one might be tempted to think that everyone has been relatively happy with the state of affairs at church, despite escalating signs that all is not well. Thankfully the tide is turning and there is a conviction within the community to re-evaluate*.

I feel it's important to ensure that we cultivate an environment where people's cautions and concerns for the community are not brushed aside or disregarded. To settle for anything less than this is to be guilty of "groupthink", where maintaining the status quo is more important than the genuine needs of the community.

I personally hope that we can strive to come to a place where trust can be restored to the point where we can challenge each other in love and friendship, without fear of abandonment or rejection.

*time will tell just how willing we are to face the truth about ourselves as a community, and if we'll continue to pretend that Paul's words to Titus are not also applicable to us when he said, "At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another." (Titus 3:3)

He continues:

But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone. ~ Titus 3:4-8

"The profound solutions to the ills of the community
are born at the feet of Jesus Christ"
~ Father Ignacio Larranaga

you gotta watch this

2009-03-20T09:06:00.002-03:00

Below are links to one of my all time favourite episodes of "Black Books". It's become tradition for us to watch it at this time of year: tax time!

Warning: contains colourful language, some religious elements (it's not really bad), and other things that may offend. If you're not easily offended, enjoy!!

Black Books ~ "Cooking the Books" Part 1 of 3

Black Books ~ "Cooking the Books" Part 2 of 3

Black Books ~ "Cooking the Books" Part 3 of 3

"Mankind Is No Island"

2009-03-18T08:56:00.001-03:00

maturity

2009-03-15T16:04:00.000-03:00

spring is there if you just look hard enough

I found a commendable article at a Hindu website that speaks of what maturity looks like. I can't help but think of the church, and how striving for these character traits would result in less dysfunction and heartbreak. Think of the emotional health that could result, both for the individual and the community as a whole.

You can read the entire article here: Maturity of Mind and Adult Behavior.

To be mature does not necessarily mean just a fully grown up individual. It is a combination of many things that includes age, awareness, intelligence, decision making ability and more. To be mature means:

1. to be realistic, to be in touch with reality and to be guided by facts,

2. to be responsible to self and others and to accept responsibility for self preservation,

3. to be willing to examine ones beliefs, fallacies, prejudices and assumptive behavior in an objective way and let them go,

4. to be guided by reason rather than emotions, to be able to distinguish the two and also at the same time accommodate them appropriately and intelligently in one's life and priorities,

5. to be assertive without being aggressive, to be friendly without the need to get attention, to disagree without the need to compete and to seek without the fear of failure or rejection,

6. to be flexible and open-minded rather than rigid and judgmental, to be amenable to new situations and receptive to new knowledge, to be willing to learn new skills and new responses,

7. to be inquisitive and exploratory, seeking answers to questions one does not know, gathering information before arriving at conclusions, stretching the mind to explore hidden possibilities and hidden potentialities,

8. to act spontaneously to an occasion or situation, free from preconceived notions, the compulsion to be perfect or correct, habitual or mechanical reactions

9. to be in touch with the present and enjoy the passing moment

10. to know what is possible and achievable and to acknowledge that which is not.

"pagan christianity" arrives as a present

2009-03-04T09:44:00.002-04:00

A lovely girl named Lyn did a lovely thing for me. She ordered "Pagan Christianity" and had it shipped to me as a gift! We had been chatting about the book, and other stuff through e-mail and in one of them she ended with "Keep an eye on your mail box, I’ve sent you a gift from Amazon. Love L x." I was shocked! What a sweeeeetheart!

It arrived late yesterday and I've begun reading it this morning. I'm already finding it intriguing and I've yet to leave the preface. Here's a quote that sticks out to me:

"But if the the church is following the life of God who indwells it, it will never produce those nonscriptural practices this book addresses. Such practices are foreign elements that God's people picked up from their pagan neighbours as far back as the fourth century. They were embraced, baptized, and called "Christian". And that is why the church is in the state that it is in today, hampered by endless divisions, power struggles, passivity, and lack of transformation among God's people"

In this quote he cites the following essays of his in his footnote:

"The Kingdom, the Church, and Culture"

"What is an Organic Church?"

2009-02-28T13:40:00.000-04:00

Over the last weeks I've had about 15 tabs up in Firefox all in regards to Biblical teachings about tithing. Here are just a few snippets for interest sake.

Is tithing Biblical? Sure, if you happen to be a non-Christian Jew who is still erroneously living under Old Testament law. But tithing is not Biblical for Christians.

In brief, tithing is never once taught in the New Testament, which is the blueprint for the Church and for Christian living. Some argue that Jesus upheld tithing in the New Testament. But what they fail to recognize is when Jesus told various men in the New Testament that they should not neglect the tithe is because those men were Jews, not Christians and Jesus had not yet died and rose from the dead redeeming us in general from ceremonial Jewish law.

It is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to keep the Bible’s command to not give under compulsion while believing that we owe a compulsory tax of 10% of our income...

The same men who teach the tithe gladly eat pork (which is OK for any Christian to do). But anyone who keeps any Old Testament ceremonial law (such as tithing) must keep all the Old Testament ceremonial laws (including the law that states that eating pork is forbidden). We also do not see these tithe teachers slaughtering bulls and goats as sacrifices to God (not that any Christian should). The point is, these men pick and choose to pull forward from the Old Testament law whatever they want and they have chosen to keep the tithe and throw out what is inconvenient (such as the prohibition on owning personal property, the prohibition on eating pork, animal sacrifices, etc.) in a nutshell whatever they don’t like and whatever does not suit them.

Is Tithing Biblical?

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Who would have tithed in the Bible?
Apparently, only those who owned land in ancient Israel (the promised land itself) would have tithed an average of 23.3 percent of agricultural produce. There is no evidence that the tithe was ever applied to those who did not own land, or to those who did not live in Israel, with one exception: the Levites would give a tenth of the tithe to the priests, who also were commanded to tithe from what had been given to them (Numbers 18:26-28). This shows us that “even ‘full-time religious workers’ were subject to the laws of tithing” (Blomberg, Neither Poverty nor Riches, 46). However, Israelites who had become poor and lost their land or those who had moved to cities and engaged in non-agricultural trades almost certainly would have been exempt from tithe under Old Testament law. This casts considerable doubt on the applicability of a “10 percent” tithe for all Christians today. Instead of settling for a hard-and-fast legal requirement of 10 percent, we should instead pay careful attention to the New Testament’s radical teaching on generosity.

Generous Giving: Questions About Tithing

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Jews Do Not Tithe Today
...thirty–five years ago when I was just starting to study theology in college, a letter had been given to me for answering. It was from a woman who heard that modern Jews were not tithing. She wanted to know whether the information was true, and if so, why the Jews seemingly violated the plain laws of the Bible which spoke of tithing as a law to be obeyed?

Having read the letter, I began to share her concern. To resolve the matter I telephoned three rabbis in the Los Angeles area for their explanation. Much to my dismay, all three independently of each other informed me that no religious Jew should tithe today. I was startled at their replies. This appeared to be evidence that the Jews were so lax with their biblical interpretation that they were abandoning even the simple words of their own Scripture about the laws of tithing.

By the time I spoke with the last rabbi, my youthful indignation was beginning to emerge. But that rabbi then wisely began to show me my ignorance (not his) in the whole matter. First, he admitted that none of his congregation paid one penny of tithe that was demanded in the Old Testament. He then said: "If any member of my synagogue paid tithe in the scriptural manner, he would be disobeying the law of God—he would be sinning against God."

I was staggered by his answer. He went on to inform me that since the Bible demands that the tithe be paid to Levites, he said it would be wrong to pay it to anyone else. And further, because there is presently no official Levitical order of Priests ministering at a Temple in Jerusalem, this makes it illegal at this period to pay any biblical tithe. He went on to say, however, that the moment a Temple is rebuilt, with its altar in operation and with the priesthood officiating at that altar (and the Levites there to assist them), then every Jew who lives in the tithing zones mentioned in the Bible will be required to tithe according to the biblical commands.

This teaching was a revelation to me (as it may be to some of our readers), but the rabbi gave the proper biblical answers. To pay the biblical tithe at this time, without Levites and Priests in their regular ordained offices and doing service in the Temple, would be "sin" both to the giver and the receiver. The rabbi told me: "If we are to obey the law, we cannot pay tithe unless we pay it to the ones ordained by God to accept that tithe."

The rabbi explained that though he was the chief rabbi of his synagogue, he was not a Levite. He said he was descended from the tribe of Judah and was thereby not eligible to receive tithe. The same disqualification applied even to Christ Jesus while he was on earth since he was also reckoned as having come from the tribe of Judah. This same restriction was applicable to the activities of the apostle Peter (because he was as well from Judah) and it applied to the apostle Paul (because he was from the tribe of Benjamin). Neither Christ nor those apostles were Levites so they were all disqualified from receiving any part of the biblical tithe. It is just that simple. And listen, if Christ, Peter and Paul did not use the biblical tithe for any of their work in the teaching the Gospel, Christian ministers today should not use the biblical tithe either. The Jewish religious authorities are wise enough to read what the Word of God states about the tithe and, thankfully, they abide by it. But our Gentile preachers and priests care very little what the biblical texts actually state and go merrily on their way by devising their own laws of tithing which are different from those of the Bible.

Jews Do Not Tithe Today

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Financing a Church Organization
It is a foregone conclusion that any religious organization that provides a good service to the people who are members ought to have adequate funds with which to operate. And though it is wrong to use the laws of tithing in the Bible to support any organization, there should be means to do the job. And how much should one pay for such services? Really, it is not a matter of whether one gives ten percent, twenty percent or any percent to the work of teaching the Gospel. To Christ, it was all a matter of attitude. The voluntary giving of free will contributions was to Christ the proper way to support his work. It is one that Christ approves.

The Bible provides a logical and very workable voluntary system for financing any Christian work. It is similar to that which supported the Old Covenant "Israel" before the introduction of tithing in the second year of the Exodus. Its principle is found in Matthew 10, Mark 6, Luke 9 and 10 and 1 Corinthians 9. The whole matter—from beginning to end—is that of free will offerings—not tithe. Paul also referred to it in his first letter to Timothy:

"Let the elders that rule well be counted worthy of double honor, especially they who labor in the word and doctrine." ~ 1 Timothy 5:17

Next to the word "honor" in verse 17 of the King James Version is found a marginal reference that refers to Acts 28:10. This shows where the same Greek word is used. The Revised Standard Version renders the word "honor" as "gifts." Does not the word "gift" mean something other than a debt? Such "honors" are perfectly proper to give Christian workers when they carry on their work in the teaching of the Christian Gospel.

Financing a Church Organization

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Paul did not Receive Tithes
Paul’s missionary efforts should make it abundantly clear to everyone that the tithe, whether on agricultural products, livestock or 10 per cent of income, is not a New Testament teaching. Of all the New Testament writers, Paul of all people should have been able to use the Old Testament Scriptures to get people to tithe to him so that his expenses would be taken care of. But Paul did not quote a single tithing Scripture to make people give, not one. He most certainly could have, because the Temple and its sacrificial system was still going on during his life-time. But Paul knew only Levites could collect tithes. Paul could have made some Levites his treasurer and then gotten the tithes, but he did no such thing. When he quoted the Old Testament to justify receiving financial help from Christians, he quoted Deuteronomy 25:4, "You shall not muzzle an ox while it treads out the grain." (1 Cor. 9:9) He quotes it again in 1 Timothy 5:17,18, "Let the elders who rule well be counted worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in the word and doctrine. For the Scripture says, ‘You shall not muzzle an ox while it treads the grain,’ and ‘The laborer is worthy of his wages.’" (The words for double honor in the Greek include monetary remuneration.)

Why didn’t Paul just blast them with some real good strong tithe Scriptures and then throw the Malachi "you are robbing God" thing at them like many preachers do? Because Paul knew the Old Covenant much better than modern preachers do! He knew that there was a new temple, a new priesthood, and new covenant, and a new way of giving—out of the love of Christ in your heart! Just as our Father gave.

The Tithe is Illegal

reasons NOT to not tithe

2009-02-27T11:35:00.001-04:00

This is really funny, if you don't take it too seriously. Apparently it's not clear whether this ministry is for or against tithing (my wager from watching other videos of theirs is that they are "for" tithing). Even so, it's still great because this is not what abolishing tithing is about as per the NT.

Some might be offended, and some might even consider it blasphemous, but I found myself laughing. To each his/her own!

new wine in old wine skins & tithing tactics

2009-02-26T10:13:00.009-04:00

"The church needs to make a complete paradigm shift from the Old Covenant way of thinking and living to the New Covenant way. Mixing the two doesn't work. It's like putting new wine into old wine skins. The result is a dysfunctional system of religion, which most people consider to be normal Christianity, but is not what God intended. Tithing is one way that Christians mistakenly try to express their new nature in Christ through an obsolete system of worship and financial stewardship."

~ Matthew E. Narramore, "Tithing: Low-Realm, Obsolete & Defunct"

You can read the above book here for free, or purchase your own copy. You know what's ironic (or not)? A lot of these writers/teachers/pastors who teach on the topic of non-tithing GIVE their work away, be it book or a 4 1/2 hour video series. Does that not say a LOT?

I will now offer a contrast, not in tithing advocates selling their work, but detestable and dishonest tactics in generating income for the church. Thank the Lord my church is not like this.

You can buy "Generosity Tracts/Flyers/Pamphlets/PowerPoint presentations that address these concerns:

1) Do you need an effective, proven, affordable, and GUARANTEED ways to help your congregation become more generous?

2) Would you like to help your people be more generous without preaching any or many giving sermons?

Tithing Tracts

How about throwing one of these images out in a PowerPoint presentation:

Groan. First of all, it's a farce to suggest that this has anything to do with generosity. Second and worst of all they have twisted the original meaning of the verse. No surprise there. The book of Proverbs is traditionally attributed to Israel’s King Solomon. It's also the Old Testament/Covenant. What it is really referring to is tithing on "all thine increase" (Young's Literal Translation), or "the firstfruits of all your crops" (NIV), which is absolutely in line with the laws given to the ISRAELITES for that place and time.

Here are a few more translations of Proverbs 3:9:

Honor the LORD from your wealth And from the first of all your produce; (NASB) *notice it says "wealth" and "produce"

Honor God with everything you own; give him the first and the best. (The Message) *as much as I struggle with The Message's tendency to water down the Word, I like Peterson's version of this verse

Honor the Lord with your capital and sufficiency [from righteous labors] and with the firstfruits of all your income; (Amplified Bible) *at least this speaks of "capital" etc. and not tithing on your poverty, though I disagree with the use of the word "income" according to the definition of the Biblical tithe

Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce. (New Living Translation) *again "wealth", not giving what you don't have

Honour the LORD with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase: (KJV)

And so on and so forth. I couldn't even find the version they used, if they used one at all. I can't decifer the cryptic symbol on the image.

I'll end as I began, with a quote from Narramore's book:

"A thorough study of all the New Testament exhortations that apply to financial giving reveals a different perspective than what is often preached today. Jesus himself is the highest example of the motivation and purpose of all giving. He gave because he loved and he gave to bless."

~ Matthew E. Narramore, "Tithing: Low-Realm, Obsolete & Defunct"

Anti-tithing interview

2009-02-25T09:17:00.002-04:00

In my last post I mention a lot of what Russell Kelly wrote at his website. I had started a WordPad document feverishly copying and pasting info taken from multiple websites to later show my hubby. I ended up using a lot of Mr. Kelly's words in my post and I hope I've clearly noted that. I admit I got ahead of myself in my enthusiasm!

After posting yesterday I realized just how much research, study, and work Mr. Kelly has put into this whole subject. He's even written a book called, Should the Church Teach Tithing? A Theologian's Conclusions about a Taboo Doctrine. (By the way, I have NO affiliation with Amazon.com. Just sayin')

Last night Jon and I started watching this series of phone interviews at YouTube, at least until Jon started nodding off. My fault for wanting to watch this at 11pm!

We're going to pick it up later on this evening, but I'm going to post it here for interest's sake.

"Bernie Dehler interviews Russell Kelly and George W. Green. Why is the doctrine of "Christian Tithing" so wrong? What is the best argument from tithe teachers, and why is it wrong? Are those against "Christian Tithing" just simply being stingy?"

tithing: a biblical command or a man made tradition

2009-02-23T23:45:00.002-04:00

I stumbled onto something totally by accident. I wasn't looking for it, I tripped over it, it being a post about tithing in a forum I was surfing. This post led me on a huge bunny trail that resulted in a discovery: tithing 10% of your income to your church isn't scriptural. I also found out something else. The tithing doctrine in North America is a relatively young one. It's been around for a little over 100 years (see here). Before that, churches/clergy were mostly supported by a little something called benevolence, voluntary giving, and generosity (well that and things like renting seats/pews). In the late 1800's, tithe advocates started pushing their agenda in an effort to gain a stable financial income. Apparently it seemed much more secure and lucrative to move the people into obligatory giving. (The opposite was found to be true by the 1920's (see here)).

I'm sure the history of tithing is a little less clear cut than all that, but I'm not really able to commit hours upon hours of research, nor do I really need to. I'm just sort sharing the smattering of information I've found while my hubby and I are pondering this whole issue, especially in regards of how the tithing practice has gotten us and many others into debt. Something is just not right.

Get this quote from a tithe pusher in 1878: "It is a debt to be paid before anything else can be called a gift, or freewill offering to Christ.” (C.P. Jennings) (quote taken from here). So apparently Jesus hasn't paid our debt?? Are we still under the old law?? How come we're also not sacrificing animals?

Since researching this subject, I have read many accounts of how people have gotten into debt through obligatory tithing. I'm not talking about little old ladies sending televangelists money. I'm talking regular families who tithe to their church.

I cringe at the things I used to say about tithing, things like, "I'd be afraid not to tithe". How on earth did I not see what I was saying, as if I was bound to some law, or giving so that I wasn't cursed? Would I want my child to give me a gift because they felt they were obliged to? This does not reflect the spirit of the New Testament at all.

2 Corinthians 8:7-15 (NIV)

But just as you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us—see that you also excel in this grace of giving.

I am not commanding you, but I want to test the sincerity of your love by comparing it with the earnestness of others. For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.

And here is my advice about what is best for you in this matter: Last year you were the first not only to give but also to have the desire to do so. Now finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it, according to your means. For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what he does not have.

Our desire is not that others might be relieved while you are hard pressed, but that there might be equality. At the present time your plenty will supply what they need, so that in turn their plenty will supply what you need. Then there will be equality, as it is written: "He who gathered much did not have too much, and he who gathered little did not have too little."

See the underlined part above? That to me speaks to the problem for us, where we are tithing money that WE DON'T HAVE. See also that he is not "commanding", but advising?

Google this for yourself (I found it here), but in 1895 tithing was first introduced to the Southern Baptist Convention. The convention urged state conventions to educate the people. The system was REJECTED by the people. Up until now I thought tithing was something that had always been around!!

Here's an interesting quote from Russell Earl Kelly, PHD who has spent a phenomenal amount of time and research into this subject:

(1923) "The Deeper Meaning of Stewardship", John Versteeg, Methodist, thought that the meaning of stewardship had been stretched beyond recognition and particularly so when it simply meant tithing. ... He sought to push stewardship away from an ironclad proclamation of the tithe and toward an understanding of stewardship as the Christian attitude toward material things.

Versteeg attacked their most cherished and basic claim that tithing was God’s law and had actually been consistently practiced during the biblical era. Versteeg’s view was the first stewardship book to be written from a historical-critical hermeneutic. “With singular unanimity biblical scholars agree” he wrote “as to the confusing touching the tithe,” and he cited the great biblical exegetes of his day to the effect that the data simply did not support any consistent account of the tithe in biblical times. Versteeg accused tithing advocates of twisting the evidence maintaining that “in the face of this men should assert for the tithe binding authority seems incredible! A fair perusal of Scripture fails to bear out their claim.

Here's another good quote from the same site:

1928: George Morelock, Methodist. If the person were to give from a sense of coercion, or out of the desire to popularity, or to pay for something, or to do his share, or grudgingly, then the giving, in Murdock’s view, could never be spiritual.

1873: Tithing First Suggested in USA

There were and still are many who are against the teaching of tithing. By the way, Martin Luther (1483–1546) was against tithes being binding on Christians. I just thought I'd throw that in there. Really, if he was for it, I'd disagree after reading the Bible for myself.

I will clarify that as my husband and I are moving away from the tithe practice/bondage put upon us by church tradition, we are determined to instead learn what it means to give generously. I remember one spring I had $50 saved to get highlights done. Instead I gave it away to someone who needed it more. I can't remember how, but I ended up with another quick $50 saved. I gave it away again (I must have been soft-hearted that spring!). I got $50 back again!! I couldn't seem to get rid of it. You see I gave it with a cheerful heart. I was more blessed in the giving than keeping it for myself. What if this is how giving should look. Not giving under compulsion or obligation or through regulation, but giving as your heart leads, NOT as a result of some calculations done on your pay stub.

I've read accounts of people choosing to abolish tithing in their lives and now vow to never go back because their church would suffer for it. You see in their choosing to give from the heart, they found they had more to give and therefore gave more. So they figure that if they went back to tithing, they'd be giving less.

What giving looks like, whether cash, or tangible goods, I'm not sure. It's something we are going to pray about as we try to dig ourselves out of debt and hopefully stop using the credit card to put food on the table.

1 Timothy 5:8 (NASB)

But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

For the record, I don't buy the "tithing my time and talents", I think that should be a given. I also believe in supporting the local church first. They are my church community, my family.

Anyway, this is a sloppy post, not very organized, but I don't have time to do better. I've got kitchen cupboards to paint to save us money the DIY way!

I'll be posting quotes from the numerous websites I found that actually go into the teaching of why tithing is not applicable under the New Covenant.

I'll leave you with this YouTube video. The speaker touches on a few things that make more sense if you've studied the topic somewhat, but it's a start. I love what he says at the very end:

"Give as the Lord provides, and as he allows you to do, and do it joyfully and be as generous as you can."

2009-02-16T10:15:00.002-04:00

forces of enchantment

The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous
feeling of the words being there, written in
invisible ink, and clamoring to become visible.

~Nabokov ~

my blog got hijacked, sort of

2009-01-30T08:15:00.001-04:00

This quote, which I found in December and stored in draft form since then, mysteriously found itself on my blog recently. I removed it due to the fact that I didn't post it myself. I've begun to think that it was a hint.

"The Old Year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The New Year has taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months!" ~ Edward Payson Powell

the trodden path

2009-01-19T08:41:00.001-04:00

winter farm ~ david hayward

"The snow is lying very deep.
My house is sheltered from the blast.
I hear each muffled step outside,
I hear each voice go past.
But I'll not venture in the drift
Out of this bright security,
Till enough footsteps come and go
To make a path for me."
~ Agnes Lee

hope

2009-01-08T11:09:00.001-04:00

Firstly, thanks to all of you who sent up prayers for my brother and his wife, on the loss of their baby. Apparently my brother can already say that Bella has been a blessing in their life and did not leave this world without having an affect on it. It has brought he and Marissa closer together. I was so glad to hear this, because something like this has just as much potential to drive a couple apart.

My brother wrote a letter to Bella that was read at her funeral. I guess many men have gone into "silent" mode after such a tragedy. My brother has been a tower of strength and has probably surprised himself.

As heartbreaking as this loss is to them, they are already talking about trying again once they get the green light. This shows their strength and courage.

I'm sure they will always feel the loss, and have many miles to walk before their hearts don't feel constantly raw. At the same time, I pray that Bella some day has a younger brother or sister.

Thanks again for praying.

why?

2009-01-05T13:48:00.001-04:00

This weekend I gained a new niece. Her funeral is this afternoon. She was lost to pre-eclampsia. It was caught too late. My brother's wife had to deliver their daughter 2 days after she had died. She was due next month. They've had a few miscarriages. This was their first pregnancy that endured. Their first hopeful child.

All of my family live 2 provinces away, so I didn't even get to see Marissa pregnant. Marissa and I have never really had a chance to get to know each other very well, because of the distance. For me it kinda seems surreal, but I feel the loss and I can't believe it. Especially when I heard how they got to hold her for over an hour after delivery. I can't even imagine how overwhelmingly painful that would be.

I think of my brother who has muscular-dystrophy. Why was this added to his pain?

My sister took some black and white photos of her, looking as if she's sleeping. I haven't been able to bring myself to open the e-mail yet.

They named her Bella. She is, and always will be my seventh niece. Some day I'll meet her. Up there.

Happy New Year

2009-01-02T08:34:00.000-04:00

I'm strangely sad that 2008 is over. It wasn't an easy year. It wasn't an extremely difficult one either. We experienced a lot of crap from the outside, but I've already spoken of that before and these days I really don't dwell on it much. Privately it was the most bountiful year we've ever had. We worked and toiled the softened ground of our hearts and reaped a load of tasty fruit, and a bundle of fragrant flowers. Sounds corny, but it will be a year that will go down in the annals of our time.

We spent our last evening of the year with friends, and food and drink enough to fill 5 times our selves. As much as I enjoyed that, I often find it hard to really relax and enjoy myself when socializing, because it's been a year of seeing people estranged from our church be subtly scoffed at. It's especially difficult when people incorrectly assume you don't know the situation and if you were "in the know", then you'd "understand". When it happens, I suddenly find myself detached for the remainder of the event. In my head I end up asking God, "what do I do here? i like these people i'm hanging out with. how do i handle these feelings of anger and injustice? why the conditional/cold/non-existent love?? why do people play judge and jury?" We're no less judgmental than the next community.

I would find it easier to disregard if it weren't so prominent, if it weren't such a poison that is coursing through the veins of the church. If it was one particular person then you'd just figure "oh that's so-and-so, they're just like that". Thing is, it appears to me to be somewhat of a mob mentality situation.

Ah well. I suppose if I were a nice/good/polite little girl I'd hush up and not mention it. Tow the party line. Sometimes Jon tells me that all that matters is that we as a couple and family are healthy and whole, but if no man is an island, then no family is an island either.

Is it too much to hope that 2009 will have less judging, condemnation, gossiping, scoffing, favouritism, and as a result, less wounding? Maybe. Maybe not. Time will tell.

"Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us." ~ Hal Borland

Goodnight 2008

2008-12-31T16:54:00.000-04:00

Goodnight 2008. How how good you've been to me. Your brother 2007 brought a metaphorical storm that uprooted a half dead tree in our backyard that looked pretty and ornamental on the side facing out, but was half dead and spindley on the side facing in. This uprooting allowed more sunshine and light into our private garden. You helped my soul mate love and nurture me back to health. He was my best friend, my confidant, and the only one who understood. You opened our eyes to the years of famine we had both come to not only tolerate but embrace out of ignorance. We were equally ready to face our failures, and thus equally rewarded for it.

This summer, someone who hadn't seen me in a year looked at my face, cocked his head and said I looked refreshed, as if a burden had been taken off my shoulders. Oh yes 2008, they saw what you did! They saw that the weight I had carried around for many years and had resigned myself to had been lifted. I had no idea it could be read on my face.

2008, you even saved the best for last, because December has been dearest to us yet. I can tell you're opening another door. I can tell the best is yet to come. We're grateful, and our hearts are full.

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.

~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson

sweet christmas day

2008-12-26T11:18:00.000-04:00

Highlights of my Christmas:

Sleeping in until 8am and lingering in bed with Jon for an hour. The kids are beyond the age of waking us up early on Christmas morning.

Eating eggnog french toast made by Jon. Eating fried left over mashed potatoes & onions & bacon made by Jon. Eating additional bacon on it's own. You can never eat too much bacon.

Getting some surprise presents from Jon, even though we had agreed to not buy each other anything.

Seeing Jon's face when I gave him a surprise present of a black soft thick wool hat that I knit, the kind like he's always wanted. I began it 2 days before Christmas!

Not having to be anywhere else but in our comfy home.

Learning that you can make a squash easy to peel by boiling the whole thing for about 5 minutes. Brilliant! Thanks Google.

Eating a homemade turkey dinner with all four of us sitting at the table at the same time (rare!). It was all sooooo yummy!

Getting EXTRA dark Lindor chocolates from Jon.

Enjoying my kids enjoying their presents. They didn't care that this Christmas's tree was not over-stuffed with presents as in years past.

Ending the evening with Jon opening a bottle of champagne and making a toast to our sweetest Christmas yet.

“He is the happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home” ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Christmas Eve

2008-12-24T20:53:00.000-04:00

Dear Diary,

It's Christmas Eve. Tonight we went to our church's Christmas Eve service. Jon thought it started at 6:30pm, but he was wrong. I normally would confirm the time with someone else, but I uncharacteristically didn't. We arrived a half-an-hour late. I'm kinda glad though, cuz even though it was awkward (eeeeek!!) walking in late, it affected me profoundly. Sounds mysterious huh? Let's just say I was reminded of heartfelt prayers I prayed last December. We'll leave it at that.

It was a nice service, but short for us, ha ha! I'm glad though.

We dropped the kids off at home and went to the house of a friend of Jon's, but just for an hour or so. Faith was not impressed. We had just missed the crowd, so it was just family that we hung out with. It was nice. I'm usually not comfortable with people I don't know from Adam (is that a saying?), but I liked being out of my element and just relaxing on their couch while sipping whiskey that we had brought mixed with Diet Coke that they had. My only concern was getting sleepy and becoming useless for the rest of the evening. Two strong drinks and I'm still operational. Phew! Jon and I plan to crack open a bottle of champagne later. How romantic!

Well I still have presents to wrap, and Jon and I plan to watch a movie and eat some shrimp and seafood dip, spicy, even though Jon wanted mild - I like to expand his horizons. Jon likes it when I expand his horizons.

Goodnight dear diary. May I not forget to be tender-hearted this season and beyond.

my december

2008-12-24T09:11:00.000-04:00

This December I've really not felt that tingly Christmas spirit. We only just started Christmas shopping on the 19th, and that's just for our 2 kids. We're pretty much done. It's a quick job when your budget is modest. Jon and I can't afford to exchange gifts. We're not buying any gifts for anyone outside of our little family. School tuition eats up our money (and more). Doesn't it sound like I'm lamenting?! You know what though, it's been our happiest December ever! Never have I ever felt more content and happy. Jon feels it too. He's so relaxed and carefree about this holiday. It's not Santa that has a twinkle in his eye in this house, it's me and my baby!

The kids are just as content. They are off school after all. Faith is happy to be baking sugar cookies. She's happy knowing she'll get a few new things tomorrow morning. She's happy to be watching old Christmas movies with me while Jon is at work and Mitchell is playing his PC games.

Tomorrow we don't need to be anywhere so we'll cook our own turkey dinner. I'm looking forward to that more than anything!

This has been the sweetest December ever for Jon and I. The whole month has been very romantic. I'm so grateful to God for this whole year. It's been the most blessed year of our lives. I almost hate to see December end, because God saved the best for last in 2008.

Merry Christmas!!!

"Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love." - Hamilton Wright Mabie

sex is...

2008-12-23T09:51:00.000-04:00

I watched this youtube video posted on another blog. It's great! It's also a reminder that regular teachings on sex is very important within the church. I wonder how many churches make this a priority? I wonder how many are actually equipped to do so? To neglect such a paramount aspect of life is sad! How many married couples suffer needlessly for years? How many teens are ill-equipped? How many people suffer shame when they don't have to? What are we afraid of? An entire book of the Bible was dedicated to the subject, so God must think it's pretty darn important!

The church is not responsible for people's sexuality, but it could sure help by getting people thinking about it and talking about it. Sexual health is a lovely thing! Sexual fulfillment within marriage is a powerful thing! :o)

the five love languages: the retest

2008-12-22T08:59:00.000-04:00

Jon and I read "The Five Love Languages" by Dr. Gary Chapman last year. It was really enlightening. I did this online test last February, but Jon was curious to see if my results would still be the same. The only thing that changed was I seem to love words of affirmation more than ever ("acts of service" and "gifts" dropped!), but what I think is really going on is I get words of affirmation more than ever, and it makes me feel more loved than ever. :o)

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Physical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:		12
Quality Time:		8
Words of Affirmation:		7
Acts of Service:		2
Receiving Gifts:		1

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

"no christmas for me"

2008-12-20T11:12:00.000-04:00

This is the cutest Christmas song ever!!! Smooth...ahhhhh...

love.redemption.warm.true

2008-12-17T09:31:00.000-04:00

When they blow Gabriel's horn, rip fiction from fact
I want to get caught in some radical act
of love and redemption, the sound of warm laughter
some true conversation with a friend or my lover

Over The Rhine, portion of the song "Here It Is" from the album "Snow Angels", Songwriters: Detweiler, Linford

just you and me and candlelight

2008-12-13T11:38:00.000-04:00

I've Got My Love to Keep me Warm
Les Brown & His Band Of Renown (PSAPP'S Lady remix)

darlin' christmas is coming

2008-12-09T11:24:00.000-04:00

Wish I'd found this song a year ago cuz the sentiments would have been a perfect fit last December, but it's such a lusciously sweet song that I simply must post it this lovely December.

If I could have anything
What would I want this new year to bring
Well, I’d want you here with me

Tear these thorns from my heart
Help the healing to start
Let’s set this old world free
Let’s start with you and me

Over the Rhine ~ "Snow Angels" album

christmas song

2008-12-05T09:58:00.000-04:00

I love Dave Matthew's music. He's such a poet.

Dave Matthews Band ~ Christmas Song

solitude

2008-12-02T07:35:00.000-04:00

"Solitude" by Michael Schaffer

Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow it's mirth,
But has trouble enough of it's own.
Sing, and the hills will answer;
Sigh, it is lost on the air.
The echoes bound to a joyful sound,
But shrink from voicing care.

Rejoice, and men will seek you;
Grieve, and they turn and go.
They want full measure of all your pleasure,
But they do not need your woe.
Be glad, and your friends are many;
Be sad, and you lose them all.
There are none to decline your nectared wine,
But alone you must drink life's gall.

Feast, and your halls are crowded;
Fast, and the world goes by.
Succeed and give, and it helps you live,
But no man can help you die.
There is room in the halls of pleasure
For a long and lordly train,
But one by one we must all file on
Through the narrow aisles of pain.

~ Ella Wheeler Wilcox

until it is healed

2008-11-27T10:29:00.000-04:00

I'm not in a place of sorrow, and I don't exactly abhor people (I do struggle with trust issues), and yet I can relate to this quote, minus the last 2 words.

The sorrowful spirit finds relaxation in solitude. It abhors people, as a wounded deer deserts the herd and lives in a cave until it is healed or dead. ~ Kahlil Gibran

*I keep editing this post in an attempt to make my thoughts more clear!

2008-11-24T10:37:00.000-04:00

“Throughout Western societies, and most especially in North America, there has occurred a fundamental shift in the understanding and practice of the Christian story. It is no longer about God and what God is about in the world; it is about how God serves and meets human needs and desires. It is about how the individual self can find its own purposes and fulfillment.

More specifically, our churches have become spiritual food courts for the personal, private, inner needs of expressive individuals. The result is a debased, compromised, derivative form of Christianity that is not the gospel of the Bible at all. The biblical narrative is about God’s mission in, through, and for the sake of the world and how God has called human beings to be part of God’s reaching out to that world for God’s purpose of saving it in love. The focus of attention should be what God wants to accomplish and how we can be part of God’s mission, not how God helps us accomplish our own agendas.”

Alan J. Roxburgh, "The Sky is Falling: Leaders Lost in Transition"

2008-11-21T08:44:00.000-04:00

"I did not know I was on a search for passionate aliveness. I only knew I was lonely and lost and that something was drawing me deeper beneath the surface of my life in search of meaning. There is a hunger in people to go to those deep depths; to know that our lives are sacred; that our hearts are truly capable of love. It is a yearning to be all the we can be. A longing for what is real." ~ Anne Hillman, The Dancing Animal Woman

we are to be reflections to one another

2008-11-20T10:32:00.000-04:00

“Serve others for they are reflections of the same Entity of which you are yourself another reflection. No one of you has any authenticity, except in reference to the Original. Feel always kinship with all creation.” ~ Sri Sathya Sai Baba

more on authenticity

2008-11-19T09:47:00.000-04:00

In my need to understand this "authenticity" thing, I may be in the beginnings of understanding what it is, at least in terms of how I see people using it. The quote below helps. If being authentic is being a true reflection of what's in your heart, then I can honestly say I know very few authentic people.

"Don't underestimate the value people place on authenticity. Politicians listen to the focus groups and say the things they think people want to hear. But after 30 years of reading consumers, I know that they can smell phonies."

Interview with Ogilvy and Mather CEO Shelly Lazarus: http://money.cnn.tv/magazines/fortune/fortune_archive/2007/09/17/100258877/index.htm)

Finally, the wisdom of a swami (what's a swami exactly??) rings true:

"Become a principled human being. Become an authentic human being. When you say that you are going to do something, do it. Don’t say you will do something and then not do it. That’s not what a principled human being is like. Thought, word and deed must come together. These are actually the holy trinity within the human being: thought, word and deed. When thought, word and deed are in alignment at a very high level, then you are living a principled life. You are living an authentic life."

Swami Sai Premananda, Principles of Higher Living: The Western Experience Upon the Shores of Eastern Wisdom

authenticity

2008-11-17T09:57:00.000-04:00

au·then·tic

a: worthy of acceptance or belief as conforming to or based on fact b: conforming to an original so as to reproduce essential features c: made or done the same way as an original

Authenticity seems to have become a badge of honour, a character trait in and and of itself. Sometimes all authenticity means is genuineness. A genuinely loving person. A genuinely self-centered narcissistic asshole. See what I mean?

Authentic Christianity has become a catch-phrase. Google it and see. Authentic simply means "true". So an authentic Christian is a true Christian, the real thing.

I have an appreciation for authentic people because if you're a cynical and judgmental person and you don't hide it and you even go so far as to acknowledge those weaknesses, then I know what I'm dealing with and can relate to you keeping those character traits in mind so I'm less apt to become offended. A person doesn't have to be a follower of Christ to have this level of authenticity.

Authentic Christians on the other hand have been light to me in the darkness. They've spoken words of life when I was feeling death lurking all around me. They emulate the fruit of the Spirit. My appreciation for THIS kind of authenticity is beyond describing, mostly because it's rare and that makes it very precious and beautiful.

It's one thing to be real. It's another thing to be really loved.

me me me

2008-11-10T09:00:00.000-04:00

I found some interesting quotes from a blogger on blogging and social networking. The comments she received show that many people were offended, which is understandable. Even so, one commenter calls the whole scene "ego masturbation".

I find her thoughts refreshing and honest, even though I enjoy my own random blogging. It can be very cathartic for example. Social networking sites on the other hand are a huge turn off for me, except of course my knitting one. Though I didn't used to, I now prefer having my personal life somewhat of a mystery, and I especially like being inaccessible to untrustworthy souls.

Here are my favourite quotes:

Whether we want to admit it or not, we all believe our lives are fascinating; that every website that’s captured our interest should hold equal appeal to those who know us; and that other people — whether we’ve met them in meat space or cyberspace — need to be informed of not only our latest thoughts as expressed in our blog entries, but even the minutia of our day as captured in 140 words or less on Twitter. And woe to our “friends” who don’t agree.

The web, which once existed as a place to which we turned primarily to acquire information about diverse topics, is now primarily a forum for us to put out information on the topic which fascinates us the most: ourselves.

Katherine Berry's entire article

it's just life

2008-11-04T09:31:00.000-04:00

You know what would be a really really gross outcome of my post from yesterday? If people thought it was cool that this happens to me. It's not cool. It's not a reflection on me or my worthiness. That's laughable. It's a mystery. It's life. At the same time it's not unusual. I think it's just a matter of learning to pick up signals. Like if a person you know comes to mind out of nowhere. Or there's someone you just can't get out of your mind. Maybe you're being provoked to pray, even if it's as simple as hoping they are doing well and not a "formal" prayer. And the list of possibilities goes on.

I'm a lowly thing. I'm despised. I'm still chosen.

He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things--and the things that are not--to nullify the things that are. ~ 1 Corinthians 1:28

learning to take a hint

2008-11-03T08:47:00.000-04:00

Sunday morning I woke up from a truckload of dreams, with one in particular to ponder and pray over. It had to do with terrorists hijacking planes and Jon and I witnessing the scene and a whole lot more. I think it might have to do with Jon and I, Jon in particular, taking our roles more seriously in praying for the church body as a whole. It felt serious and seriously dangerous, and though I like living in the land of sunshine and lollypops, I think it's time to be more intentional and humble about what we've been made for. We're not here to live for ourselves only.

That dream aside, what occupies my mind just as much is this: that same morning as I was trying to gather energy to get up, in full awakeness but with eyes closed, I suddenly had a non-sleeping dream where I saw a girl I know walk by me. There were others around, but we made eye contact for a few moments. She looked weary and drawn, unhealthily skinny and burdened. I spent the morning praying for this person's emotional and spiritual nourishment. For robustness. For strength and vitality. A few hours later I saw this person walk into church, wearing the exact thing she wore in my dream. It took me a minute to clue into that little tidbit, the outfit factor. I figured this meant it was an immediate need, it had to do with right now.

It all makes me realize for the hundredth time just how much God so tenderly cares for us, that he would show someone else, maybe someone not even close to that person, that this person needs prayer. God knows I sincerely care for this person. He also knows this person's sorrows, their burdens, whether temporary, or long-term, and he wants her to be supported with prayer. He wants that for every single one of us.

How often do we miss the message, and leave someone without support? How often have I myself failed to take the hint?

welcome dear november

2008-11-01T14:03:00.000-03:00

We ended the month of October partying with a bunch of people we didn't know, save for a lovely girl we bumped into who goes by the name of Hannah. She's a well loved girl at our church, though she'd moved away and is now back and stuck in the city without a car. It was a treat to see her, and we had a nice long chat. No guys from Jon's work showed up, but we got to enjoy seeing some very creative 20 to 30-something year-olds come in one by one, with some pretty smashing costumes. It's funny how costumes break down barriers because it gives you something to comment on. Even so, I swear Jon and I were the only married couple, and there might have been one other girl drinking wine. A sign of being older and having refined taste perhaps?

What is it with drunk people getting louder and louder and louder?! I know the answer, but still, it was deafening! We left around midnight even though the party was still in full gear. It was nice coming home to our quiet little house and our little family.

October is over. Welcome dear November.

eat, drink, and be merry

2008-10-31T10:45:00.000-03:00

One of the guys in Jon's department is having a big Halloween costume party this weekend. I'll finally get to meet some of the interesting guys I often hear about. Jon is going as a boxer who's seen better days (though you should see the other guy!). I'm going as a medieval maiden. I dare not say I'm a medieval barmaid lest I get conned into fetching drinks! I'm really looking forward to it, except for the fact that I just starting cutting back on my calories and eating super clean. Parties = drinking = losing all willpower over food. My son says "eat, drink, and be merry". I know he's right, but this is only day 4 of my weight loss endeavor and I'm doing really well. Crap!

This is one of my favourite somber autumn songs by Hawksley Workman:

a pointless post but i just gotta

2008-10-29T10:51:00.000-03:00

it's a blustery day today. even pooh says so.

rain

2008-10-28T09:54:00.000-03:00

it's grey and rainy today.

grrrrr

2008-10-28T08:40:00.000-03:00

The Song of Deborah
by Donna Smallenberg
Yesterday the kids and I got into the truck to head out to school. I uncharacteristically flipped through some radio stations. Driving is usually my thinking and pondering time so I tend to like it quiet, plus it's wayyyy too early in the morning for unnecessary noise. We were picking up an American Christian station. A man and a woman were bragging on the station and how wonderful it was. The man said "yes, and the housewife can listen to it at home, and the business man at work". Well I flipped. I ranted to the kids how sexist that was, and my 15 year old son said it sounded like something out of the 50's. What about men who stay home to be full time dads, what about women who govern cities or countries?

This past Sunday in church while playing with the pages of my little bible I noticed the last chapter of Proverbs which describes a noble wife:

She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.

Back in biblical days, women were in great positions of leadership, they were entrepreneurs. They did not have bake sales and little fund raisers when they wanted to contribute to society.

I don't know what else to say. All I know is this mindset makes me supremely cranky!

care

2008-10-27T08:40:00.000-03:00

"The love of our neighbor in all its fullness simply means being able to say, "What are you going through?" ~ Simone Weil