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Thursday, July 9, 2009

melancholy me

"show me where it hurts"
by mazawi
“Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.” ~ George Bernard Shaw
Yesterday I unexpectedly faced a situation which at first caused me distress, until I realized that all was okay, relatively speaking. Still, I had to muster up the courage to walk into a place where my presence is not wanted by someone. It makes me weepy to think about it, and I wish I could transport myself to an isolated place so I could have a good long cry. I'm way overdue in releasing some pent up sorrow.

I'm not interested in fixing things so I can feel better or be at ease. I'm sure things are just as horrid for them as they are for me, and that's not fair. In fact it's profoundly unjust.

My biggest fear is that the other person will think that none of it matters to me or my guy. We can unintentionally make it appear as though we are indifferent, when deep down inside we are anything but. I can only assume that the most I can do is offer my respect by keeping my distance. But is that saying something that I'm not wanting it to?

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