hope

Firstly, thanks to all of you who sent up prayers for my brother and his wife, on the loss of their baby. Apparently my brother can already say that Bella has been a blessing in their life and did not leave this world without having an affect on it. It has brought he and Marissa closer together. I was so glad to hear this, because something like this has just as much potential to drive a couple apart.

My brother wrote a letter to Bella that was read at her funeral. I guess many men have gone into "silent" mode after such a tragedy. My brother has been a tower of strength and has probably surprised himself.

As heartbreaking as this loss is to them, they are already talking about trying again once they get the green light. This shows their strength and courage.

I'm sure they will always feel the loss, and have many miles to walk before their hearts don't feel constantly raw. At the same time, I pray that Bella some day has a younger brother or sister.

Thanks again for praying.

why?

This weekend I gained a new niece. Her funeral is this afternoon. She was lost to pre-eclampsia. It was caught too late. My brother's wife had to deliver their daughter 2 days after she had died. She was due next month. They've had a few miscarriages. This was their first pregnancy that endured. Their first hopeful child.

All of my family live 2 provinces away, so I didn't even get to see Marissa pregnant. Marissa and I have never really had a chance to get to know each other very well, because of the distance. For me it kinda seems surreal, but I feel the loss and I can't believe it. Especially when I heard how they got to hold her for over an hour after delivery. I can't even imagine how overwhelmingly painful that would be.

I think of my brother who has muscular-dystrophy. Why was this added to his pain?

My sister took some black and white photos of her, looking as if she's sleeping. I haven't been able to bring myself to open the e-mail yet.

They named her Bella. She is, and always will be my seventh niece. Some day I'll meet her. Up there.