why?

This weekend I gained a new niece. Her funeral is this afternoon. She was lost to pre-eclampsia. It was caught too late. My brother's wife had to deliver their daughter 2 days after she had died. She was due next month. They've had a few miscarriages. This was their first pregnancy that endured. Their first hopeful child.

All of my family live 2 provinces away, so I didn't even get to see Marissa pregnant. Marissa and I have never really had a chance to get to know each other very well, because of the distance. For me it kinda seems surreal, but I feel the loss and I can't believe it. Especially when I heard how they got to hold her for over an hour after delivery. I can't even imagine how overwhelmingly painful that would be.

I think of my brother who has muscular-dystrophy. Why was this added to his pain?

My sister took some black and white photos of her, looking as if she's sleeping. I haven't been able to bring myself to open the e-mail yet.

They named her Bella. She is, and always will be my seventh niece. Some day I'll meet her. Up there.