self-evaluation

Healing
Last night our church had a congregational meeting. The purpose was to spend an evening of worship and intercession to discern who we are as a church. After a few worship songs, people began to volunteer praiseworthy and honourable attributes they felt we as a church could claim. To some of us there, and some of us not, it was akin to pouring salt on the wounds. My saving grace was the bravery of one admirable and humble woman (who happens to be my very dear and close friend!). She graciously offered a heartfelt admonition to be more forgiving and less judgmental.

I understand that people are inclined to have perceptions based on their own personal experiences. For those who have not been judged, they will see the church as a shelter. For those who have not experienced partiality, they will feel a sense of comfort. For those who's side has been chosen, they will feel empathy.

My challenge is to stay on task, fix my eyes on Jesus, and to listen to the Father. I need to dig into the Word that "penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart" (Heb. 4:12). I need to grow in wisdom, grace, and discernment. I need to be above reproach, walk in humility, to reach out, and to pray for the health of the community and it's people. I need to be brave and committed.

One thing David said was "authenticity with accountability". I like that. It was refreshing to hear those two words put together again after all these years. Those two attributes must be in sync.

Someone suggested that we as a community are unique. By definition, I would have to respectfully disagree. When we reflect Acts 2:42-47, I will be happy to agree that we are wonderfully unique:

They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

Here's my journal entry written 5 days prior to last night's meeting. These words still ring true for me:

It occurs to me that one might be tempted to think that everyone has been relatively happy with the state of affairs at church, despite escalating signs that all is not well. Thankfully the tide is turning and there is a conviction within the community to re-evaluate*.

I feel it's important to ensure that we cultivate an environment where people's cautions and concerns for the community are not brushed aside or disregarded. To settle for anything less than this is to be guilty of "groupthink", where maintaining the status quo is more important than the genuine needs of the community.

I personally hope that we can strive to come to a place where trust can be restored to the point where we can challenge each other in love and friendship, without fear of abandonment or rejection.

*time will tell just how willing we are to face the truth about ourselves as a community, and if we'll continue to pretend that Paul's words to Titus are not also applicable to us when he said, "At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another." (Titus 3:3)

He continues:

But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone. ~ Titus 3:4-8

"The profound solutions to the ills of the community
are born at the feet of Jesus Christ"
~ Father Ignacio Larranaga